1 00:00:06,705 --> 00:00:09,140 (knocking on door) 2 00:00:12,238 --> 00:00:13,438 NANCY: Good day, sir. 3 00:00:13,439 --> 00:00:15,345 I'm a weary traveler. Do you, perchance, 4 00:00:15,346 --> 00:00:17,549 have an extra bed or sofa where I could rest? 5 00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:19,150 Alas, I do not. 6 00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:22,650 But you're welcome to this hard pallet of pine wood. 7 00:00:23,487 --> 00:00:27,118 Not to be discourteous, but I don't think that's pine. 8 00:00:27,187 --> 00:00:28,654 I'm pretty sure it is. 9 00:00:29,827 --> 00:00:31,023 Whatever, I'll take it. 10 00:00:31,125 --> 00:00:33,190 Thank you. (chuckles) 11 00:00:33,259 --> 00:00:35,599 Ooh. I am parched. 12 00:00:35,701 --> 00:00:37,031 Do you have any water? 13 00:00:37,099 --> 00:00:38,530 Oh, as a matter of fact, I do. 14 00:00:38,598 --> 00:00:41,338 I just fetched some from yonder stream. 15 00:00:41,473 --> 00:00:43,004 Right. 16 00:00:43,072 --> 00:00:45,502 So, is this the same stream 17 00:00:45,571 --> 00:00:48,479 I saw villagers using as a commode? 18 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:49,711 The very same. 19 00:00:49,813 --> 00:00:51,113 But don't worry. 20 00:00:51,182 --> 00:00:53,117 The village is many paces upstream, 21 00:00:53,118 --> 00:00:55,514 and as the water tumbles down toward my dwelling, 22 00:00:55,515 --> 00:00:58,719 it cleans itself. That's science. 23 00:00:58,822 --> 00:01:00,554 Works for me. 24 00:01:03,924 --> 00:01:05,262 (sighs) 25 00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:08,065 Hey, what's this I hear about cholera going around? 26 00:01:08,133 --> 00:01:10,298 Alas, it has felled many of my neighbors. 27 00:01:10,367 --> 00:01:12,802 If only we could figure out how it spreads, 28 00:01:12,871 --> 00:01:13,951 maybe we could stop it. 29 00:01:13,968 --> 00:01:16,174 If only. 30 00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:20,876 (sighs) 31 00:01:20,911 --> 00:01:22,776 That hits the spot. 32 00:01:22,844 --> 00:01:25,183 ? ? 33 00:01:27,547 --> 00:01:29,951 TAD: Sam, Jay, thanks for hopping on. 34 00:01:30,020 --> 00:01:31,382 No problem, Mayor Tad. 35 00:01:31,451 --> 00:01:33,020 -How's the vacation? -Huh? 36 00:01:33,155 --> 00:01:34,522 No, no, not a vacation. 37 00:01:34,590 --> 00:01:38,059 A working trip for the people of Ulster County. 38 00:01:38,127 --> 00:01:40,662 This man is deeply corrupt. 39 00:01:40,663 --> 00:01:41,693 Good for him. 40 00:01:41,694 --> 00:01:44,732 Thor miss the salty brine of the ocean. 41 00:01:44,834 --> 00:01:46,034 (sniffs) 42 00:01:46,102 --> 00:01:48,237 Can almost smell it from here. 43 00:01:48,238 --> 00:01:50,172 Pretty sure that's just the wolf urine. 44 00:01:50,173 --> 00:01:51,638 I wanted to thank you two again 45 00:01:51,639 --> 00:01:53,010 for helping to get my mayorship back, 46 00:01:53,011 --> 00:01:54,707 and to let you know I have sold 47 00:01:54,742 --> 00:01:57,748 my controlling interest in Woodstone B and B. 48 00:01:57,850 --> 00:01:59,478 -What? -Can he do that? 49 00:01:59,479 --> 00:02:01,146 You sold your stake in our business? 50 00:02:01,147 --> 00:02:02,313 To who? 51 00:02:02,314 --> 00:02:03,715 Ooh, was it someone famous? 52 00:02:03,716 --> 00:02:05,758 "Chateau Chalamet" has a nice ring to it. 53 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:07,387 Get ahold of yourself, woman. 54 00:02:07,455 --> 00:02:09,654 He's so small, it drives me crazy. 55 00:02:09,723 --> 00:02:12,223 It's a company called Ever Creek Water. 56 00:02:12,325 --> 00:02:13,465 The evil conglomerate 57 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,363 that won't pick up our empty water bottles? 58 00:02:15,364 --> 00:02:17,332 Oh, so you know them. Great. Yeah. 59 00:02:17,333 --> 00:02:18,664 They just made me an obscene offer. 60 00:02:18,665 --> 00:02:19,934 SAMANTHA: Well, what does this mean 61 00:02:19,935 --> 00:02:20,985 for us? 62 00:02:20,986 --> 00:02:22,202 What do they want with Woodstone? 63 00:02:22,203 --> 00:02:23,470 Fair question, so... 64 00:02:23,471 --> 00:02:25,343 -(phone chimes) -I've texted you a number. 65 00:02:25,344 --> 00:02:27,813 They will answer any questions that you have. 66 00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:29,477 Hope it works out. Thanks again 67 00:02:29,546 --> 00:02:32,947 for everything. I said I wanted that flaming. 68 00:02:32,982 --> 00:02:34,178 I gotta go. 69 00:02:34,814 --> 00:02:37,517 Great, so this huge corporation that we hate 70 00:02:37,620 --> 00:02:40,857 now owns a majority of our home and business? 71 00:02:40,926 --> 00:02:42,625 Should we call the number? 72 00:02:42,727 --> 00:02:43,957 I guess. 73 00:02:44,026 --> 00:02:45,362 (line ringing) 74 00:02:45,363 --> 00:02:47,399 AUTOMATED VOICE: Thank you for calling Ever Creek. 75 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,827 If you're calling about new service, press one. 76 00:02:49,862 --> 00:02:52,333 If you're an existing customer, press tw. 77 00:02:52,435 --> 00:02:54,535 If you've received notification about 78 00:02:54,637 --> 00:02:57,302 a hostile takeover of your business, press three. 79 00:02:57,404 --> 00:02:58,575 Oh, three. Press three. 80 00:02:58,678 --> 00:02:59,811 That's you. 81 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,612 HETTY: Who's ready to watch 82 00:03:01,714 --> 00:03:04,082 some- oh, look. 83 00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:06,346 The bunker ghosts are here, sitting on the couch 84 00:03:06,347 --> 00:03:07,613 -again. -Hey, Hetty. 85 00:03:07,682 --> 00:03:10,154 You guys have been here for like five hours. 86 00:03:10,155 --> 00:03:11,884 Yeah, I mean, I was happy to free you all 87 00:03:11,885 --> 00:03:14,324 from your afterlife of eternal servitude to Bruce, 88 00:03:14,325 --> 00:03:16,375 but you're kind of bogarting the TV, man. 89 00:03:16,391 --> 00:03:17,781 TREVOR: Don't you have any 90 00:03:17,791 --> 00:03:20,491 bunker commitments you got to get back for? 91 00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:22,163 -Not really. -EUGENE: Ever since 92 00:03:22,164 --> 00:03:23,364 the cult disbanded, 93 00:03:23,365 --> 00:03:25,169 there's kind of no schedule down there. 94 00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:27,438 It was oppressive but structured. 95 00:03:27,507 --> 00:03:28,668 Yeah. 96 00:03:28,669 --> 00:03:30,309 All you hear about with cults is the brainwashing 97 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,738 and the weird sex stuff. People don't talk enough 98 00:03:31,739 --> 00:03:34,278 about the upsides of a predictable calendar. 99 00:03:34,279 --> 00:03:36,742 Well, can we at least put on Bodices and Barons? 100 00:03:36,743 --> 00:03:38,879 I believe a new episode just dropped, 101 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,017 as they say. 102 00:03:40,018 --> 00:03:41,219 Trevor, do your finger thing. 103 00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:42,517 -(clears throat) -Actually, we're kind of 104 00:03:42,518 --> 00:03:44,688 in the middle of a Houdini documentary. 105 00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:45,807 As you know, 106 00:03:45,818 --> 00:03:49,122 I do magic, and we were here first, so... 107 00:03:49,224 --> 00:03:51,461 You were here first? 108 00:03:51,462 --> 00:03:53,095 (laughs) 109 00:03:53,096 --> 00:03:54,762 You were here first? 110 00:03:54,864 --> 00:03:56,031 Yeah. 111 00:03:56,066 --> 00:03:57,301 I built this house. 112 00:03:57,302 --> 00:03:58,968 Well, technically a group of Irish day laborers 113 00:03:58,969 --> 00:04:00,071 built the house, 114 00:04:00,072 --> 00:04:01,503 along with a plucky group of orphans. 115 00:04:01,504 --> 00:04:03,402 She's hard to root for but we love her. 116 00:04:03,403 --> 00:04:04,502 HETTY: I know you bunker ghosts 117 00:04:04,503 --> 00:04:06,211 were just unearthed, 118 00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:08,242 so let me explain how things work on this property. 119 00:04:08,243 --> 00:04:09,711 The basement ghosts 120 00:04:09,712 --> 00:04:12,051 stick to the basement. The shed ghosts stick to the shed. 121 00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:14,816 And the upstairs ghosts, well, this 122 00:04:14,919 --> 00:04:16,584 is our domain. 123 00:04:16,585 --> 00:04:18,721 Okay, but this documentary's really interesting. 124 00:04:18,722 --> 00:04:21,432 Did you know Houdini died from a punch to the stomach? 125 00:04:21,488 --> 00:04:23,021 Don't give me any ideas. 126 00:04:23,090 --> 00:04:24,791 Okay. 127 00:04:24,792 --> 00:04:27,662 AUTOMATED VOICE: Please continue to hold. 128 00:04:27,663 --> 00:04:30,361 We hope you're having a refreshing day. 129 00:04:30,429 --> 00:04:32,401 Representative! 130 00:04:32,470 --> 00:04:36,240 Representative! We need a representative. 131 00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:39,009 That's what we said. To King George. (laughs) 132 00:04:39,077 --> 00:04:41,143 That's called political humor. 133 00:04:41,245 --> 00:04:42,925 They call this customer service? 134 00:04:42,926 --> 00:04:44,183 When I was a travel agent, 135 00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:45,994 I was available for my clients 24/7. 136 00:04:45,995 --> 00:04:48,353 I can't tell you how many times I had to pick up a suitcase 137 00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:49,889 in the middle of the night and drive it out 138 00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:51,030 to some guy on the docks. 139 00:04:51,031 --> 00:04:53,186 Babe, do you think that might have been mob stuff? 140 00:04:53,187 --> 00:04:54,890 What? No. 141 00:04:54,992 --> 00:04:56,660 Yeah, probably. 142 00:04:56,661 --> 00:04:58,864 RUBIN: Thank you for holding, how can I quench your thirst 143 00:04:58,865 --> 00:04:59,824 for information? 144 00:04:59,825 --> 00:05:01,365 Elegant how they pull water theme 145 00:05:01,366 --> 00:05:03,430 through entire customer service experience. 146 00:05:03,431 --> 00:05:04,531 SAMANTHA: Yeah, um, 147 00:05:04,532 --> 00:05:06,469 we just found out that our property, 148 00:05:06,470 --> 00:05:08,140 Woodstone Mansion, was recently sold 149 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,637 to Ever Creek, and we were hoping 150 00:05:09,638 --> 00:05:12,005 for some information about what that means. 151 00:05:12,006 --> 00:05:13,144 Of course. 152 00:05:13,145 --> 00:05:14,846 I have that information on tap. 153 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,308 Give me just a quick sec. 154 00:05:16,377 --> 00:05:17,646 I'm scared, babe. 155 00:05:17,647 --> 00:05:19,413 What if they don't want us to run Woodstone anymore? 156 00:05:19,414 --> 00:05:21,311 It's gonna be okay, Jay. 157 00:05:21,380 --> 00:05:22,430 I hope. 158 00:05:22,431 --> 00:05:23,850 Okay, I've pulled up your file. 159 00:05:23,851 --> 00:05:26,789 So, it looks like nothing's gonna change... 160 00:05:26,790 --> 00:05:27,719 (laughs) 161 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,553 ...for 48 hours, at which point 162 00:05:29,554 --> 00:05:30,990 your home will be demolished 163 00:05:30,991 --> 00:05:32,625 and construction on an Ever Creek data center 164 00:05:32,626 --> 00:05:34,331 -will commence. -Wait, what? 165 00:05:34,332 --> 00:05:35,828 Is there anything else I can help you with? 166 00:05:35,829 --> 00:05:38,466 Yeah, can you not demolish our house? 167 00:05:38,467 --> 00:05:40,033 I know, that would be great, right? 168 00:05:40,034 --> 00:05:42,433 Let me put you on a brief hold while I look into that. 169 00:05:42,434 --> 00:05:43,836 No, wait! 170 00:05:43,938 --> 00:05:46,441 ? Splish, splash, I was takin' a bath ? 171 00:05:46,442 --> 00:05:47,839 ? Long about a Saturday night... ? 172 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:50,074 Water theme continue. (chuckles) 173 00:05:53,613 --> 00:05:57,782 HENRY: This is indeed a problem, dear neighbors. 174 00:05:57,783 --> 00:06:00,991 A data center? On this property? 175 00:06:00,992 --> 00:06:02,327 I guess it's a whole thing. 176 00:06:02,328 --> 00:06:04,258 They like to set up shop in rural areas 177 00:06:04,326 --> 00:06:06,096 next to water sources. 178 00:06:06,097 --> 00:06:07,430 Betrayed by the magical creek. 179 00:06:07,431 --> 00:06:08,831 MARGARET: I don't understand. 180 00:06:08,832 --> 00:06:11,336 What does Ever Creek have to do with a data center? 181 00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,436 I thought they were a water company? 182 00:06:13,437 --> 00:06:14,834 I guess there's been a bunch of mergers. 183 00:06:14,835 --> 00:06:17,175 Now, they're also in telecommunications, 184 00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:19,705 sports betting, weapons manufacturing. 185 00:06:19,706 --> 00:06:21,443 They also have big presence in beef. 186 00:06:21,444 --> 00:06:22,775 (chuckles) Interesting fact. 187 00:06:22,776 --> 00:06:26,216 I saw something about this on TV. 188 00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:28,582 Those data centers are a scourge. 189 00:06:28,651 --> 00:06:30,714 We can't have that in our community. 190 00:06:30,782 --> 00:06:32,357 Sorry to hit you with all this 191 00:06:32,358 --> 00:06:34,719 right when you get back from your RV adventure. 192 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,120 (scoffs) "RV adventure." 193 00:06:36,121 --> 00:06:38,461 That's a polite way of saying "coast-to-coast sex romp." 194 00:06:38,462 --> 00:06:39,860 HENRY: It was a glorious trip. 195 00:06:39,861 --> 00:06:41,993 There were just so many nooks and crannies 196 00:06:41,994 --> 00:06:44,969 to explore all across this great country. 197 00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:46,537 No one want to think about that. 198 00:06:46,538 --> 00:06:48,666 Is one reason why we threw elders off cliff. 199 00:06:48,667 --> 00:06:50,001 SAMANTHA: Anyway, 200 00:06:50,070 --> 00:06:52,543 we know you know local ordinances inside and out. 201 00:06:52,645 --> 00:06:55,572 Do you think there's anything we can do to stop this? 202 00:06:55,641 --> 00:06:57,312 Well, there might be. 203 00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:59,645 If a building in Ulster County 204 00:06:59,714 --> 00:07:02,580 is designated a historical landmark, 205 00:07:02,682 --> 00:07:04,287 it cannot be torn down. 206 00:07:04,356 --> 00:07:06,106 Great, so how do we get designated 207 00:07:06,191 --> 00:07:07,753 as a historical landmark? 208 00:07:07,754 --> 00:07:09,328 Well, you would have to be approved 209 00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:12,096 by the county historian Joe Patterson. 210 00:07:12,097 --> 00:07:13,599 I can put you in touch with him. 211 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,234 Thank you so much for this. We really appreciate it. 212 00:07:16,235 --> 00:07:18,337 Don't mention it. Come along, Margaret. 213 00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:21,303 We have an RV to deep clean. (chuckles) 214 00:07:21,405 --> 00:07:23,400 Would be safer to just burn it. 215 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:26,604 It's just not right, tearing down a mansion 216 00:07:26,673 --> 00:07:28,006 to make way for industry. 217 00:07:28,075 --> 00:07:30,707 That is what working-class neighborhoods are for. 218 00:07:30,708 --> 00:07:32,251 What is a data center anyway? 219 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:33,484 TREVOR: I looked this up online. 220 00:07:33,485 --> 00:07:36,350 Apparently, it is just a big warehouse 221 00:07:36,452 --> 00:07:38,122 filled with computer parts. 222 00:07:38,123 --> 00:07:39,625 Oh, like a giant RadioShack? 223 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,692 Well, that's not bad. That's kind of great, actually. 224 00:07:41,693 --> 00:07:44,160 I wonder what Tandy version they're up to by now? 225 00:07:44,161 --> 00:07:45,661 8,000? 9,000? 226 00:07:45,763 --> 00:07:48,399 No, this is just a giant room that is freezing cold 227 00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:51,464 and extremely loud and bright, like all the time. 228 00:07:51,566 --> 00:07:53,432 But where will we sleep? 229 00:07:53,534 --> 00:07:55,306 I need my eight hours. 230 00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:58,076 I don't know why I need it, but I do. 231 00:07:58,077 --> 00:07:59,476 I guess we'd sleep in the woods? 232 00:07:59,477 --> 00:08:01,047 PETE: Well, you know me, I love 233 00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:03,480 a campout, but every night for eternity? 234 00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:05,779 Without s'mores, or getting to pee on a fire 235 00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:07,520 -in the morning? -TREVOR: Well, our options 236 00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:09,354 are limited here. These data centers are huge. 237 00:08:09,355 --> 00:08:10,782 Everything is gonna be demolished, 238 00:08:10,783 --> 00:08:12,163 except probably the bunker. 239 00:08:12,164 --> 00:08:14,126 Ooh, well, why don't we just ask the bunker ghosts 240 00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:15,288 if we can live with them? 241 00:08:15,289 --> 00:08:16,559 Right. 242 00:08:16,628 --> 00:08:19,427 That may be complicated at the moment, huh? 243 00:08:19,428 --> 00:08:20,695 TREVOR: You mean because 244 00:08:20,696 --> 00:08:21,859 you screamed at them, and told them 245 00:08:21,860 --> 00:08:23,094 to stick to their own domain, 246 00:08:23,095 --> 00:08:24,567 which now you'd be asking to live in? 247 00:08:24,568 --> 00:08:25,866 PETE: Well, maybe they're over that. 248 00:08:25,867 --> 00:08:27,640 Or maybe none of this will even matter 249 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:30,104 because Sam and Jay will find a way to save Woodstone 250 00:08:30,105 --> 00:08:33,175 by outmaneuvering a powerful, multinational corporation. 251 00:08:33,205 --> 00:08:36,440 Yeah, I better go eat some crow. (sniffs) 252 00:08:36,509 --> 00:08:39,215 SAMANTHA: Thank you so much for meeting with us, Joe. 253 00:08:39,317 --> 00:08:41,047 As I shared on the phone, 254 00:08:41,116 --> 00:08:44,586 our property has been sold to an evil water conglomerate 255 00:08:44,587 --> 00:08:46,624 and they're planning on tearing it down. 256 00:08:46,625 --> 00:08:48,827 That's a shame. It's a beautiful old building. 257 00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:52,462 I love how you've kept so many of the original details intact. 258 00:08:52,463 --> 00:08:54,232 Definitely choice, not just because 259 00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,499 they too broke to renovate. 260 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:56,998 JAY: You know, we were told that 261 00:08:56,999 --> 00:08:58,967 if Woodstone is designated a historical landmark, 262 00:08:58,968 --> 00:09:01,902 then Ever Creek wouldn't be allowed to demolish it. 263 00:09:01,971 --> 00:09:05,373 The criteria for what qualifies is quite specific. 264 00:09:05,475 --> 00:09:07,106 Woodstone, while grand, 265 00:09:07,107 --> 00:09:09,643 is rather run-of-the-mill for mansions of this era. 266 00:09:09,644 --> 00:09:10,978 (laughs) Dibs on telling Hetty 267 00:09:10,979 --> 00:09:13,383 this guy called her house "run-of-the-mill." 268 00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:15,452 Okay, well, what would qualify us? 269 00:09:15,453 --> 00:09:16,986 Well, I recently awarded landmark status 270 00:09:16,987 --> 00:09:20,489 to a nearby Revolutionary War-era tavern, Pierre's. 271 00:09:20,591 --> 00:09:23,060 Oh, I spent many an evening there. 272 00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:24,759 The leg of horse, mmm. 273 00:09:24,828 --> 00:09:27,495 So tender, the meat fell right off the hoof. 274 00:09:27,496 --> 00:09:29,027 JOE: But Pierre's hosted a bevy 275 00:09:29,028 --> 00:09:31,336 of legendary figures from history. 276 00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:32,868 Ben Franklin was a regular there. 277 00:09:32,869 --> 00:09:34,938 Ben Franklin was a regular at every tavern. 278 00:09:34,939 --> 00:09:37,068 You know what would have been historically significant? 279 00:09:37,069 --> 00:09:39,142 If he had had a piece of broccoli. 280 00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:40,270 What if I told you 281 00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:43,379 someone historically significant actually died here. 282 00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:44,877 That would be very interesting. 283 00:09:44,878 --> 00:09:46,517 That would command my attention. 284 00:09:46,518 --> 00:09:48,647 All right, we all know where this is heading. 285 00:09:48,648 --> 00:09:49,916 Bertie Town. 286 00:09:49,917 --> 00:09:52,090 Have you ever heard of the famous jazz singer 287 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,141 Alberta Haynes? 288 00:09:53,152 --> 00:09:55,262 She was murdered right here at Woodstone. 289 00:09:55,294 --> 00:09:56,962 Actually, I have heard of her. 290 00:09:56,963 --> 00:09:58,023 -Yes! -But, no, 291 00:09:58,024 --> 00:09:59,626 she's nowhere near famous enough. 292 00:09:59,627 --> 00:10:00,693 You son of a bitch. 293 00:10:00,761 --> 00:10:02,564 Oof, that humiliation on par 294 00:10:02,633 --> 00:10:04,528 with dying with small stupid hat. 295 00:10:04,631 --> 00:10:05,681 JAY: Ooh! 296 00:10:05,682 --> 00:10:06,767 There's also evidence 297 00:10:06,768 --> 00:10:08,201 that Isaac Higgintoot died here. 298 00:10:08,202 --> 00:10:10,643 SAMANTHA: Yes. He was a Revolutionary War officer. 299 00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:13,905 He negotiated the surrender at Fort Ticonderoga. 300 00:10:13,974 --> 00:10:16,846 And he was... just across the street 301 00:10:16,847 --> 00:10:19,549 during the signing of the Declaration of Independence. 302 00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:20,714 JAY: He would have been there, 303 00:10:20,715 --> 00:10:21,748 but they started earlier. 304 00:10:21,749 --> 00:10:22,850 Yeah, it doesn't sound great 305 00:10:22,851 --> 00:10:24,621 when you line it all up like that. 306 00:10:24,622 --> 00:10:26,621 Tell them about time Isaac turn into bat 307 00:10:26,622 --> 00:10:28,753 and attack Alexander Hamilton. 308 00:10:28,855 --> 00:10:30,053 That was from the book. 309 00:10:30,155 --> 00:10:32,026 You know that wasn't real, right? 310 00:10:33,097 --> 00:10:34,297 Yes. 311 00:10:34,399 --> 00:10:36,030 (whispering): Dumbass. 312 00:10:36,896 --> 00:10:38,469 Hey, guys. See, I told you 313 00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:40,032 the water line would take us right here. 314 00:10:40,033 --> 00:10:41,704 (shrieks) That was harrowing! 315 00:10:41,705 --> 00:10:43,573 I think a snake went right through my face. 316 00:10:43,574 --> 00:10:44,671 EUGENE: Well, if it isn't 317 00:10:44,672 --> 00:10:46,041 the upstairs ghosts. 318 00:10:46,110 --> 00:10:47,679 Hetty. 319 00:10:48,446 --> 00:10:53,418 Uh, I came here to apologize. 320 00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:56,718 I was wrong to lash out as I did. 321 00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,720 And truth be told, I was a little- 322 00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:02,056 I believe the word is- "hangry." 323 00:11:02,057 --> 00:11:04,559 She hasn't eaten since the Grover Cleveland administration. 324 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:05,650 HETTY: The point is, 325 00:11:05,662 --> 00:11:07,927 I do deeply regret my behavior. 326 00:11:07,928 --> 00:11:09,535 Yeah, we heard about the data center. 327 00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:11,700 Let me guess, you all want to move in here 328 00:11:11,701 --> 00:11:13,232 now that they're tearing down the mansion? 329 00:11:13,233 --> 00:11:16,504 Oh. Nothing could be further from the truth. 330 00:11:16,606 --> 00:11:17,939 But now you bring it up, 331 00:11:18,008 --> 00:11:20,544 it is a gracious invitation we happily accept. 332 00:11:20,545 --> 00:11:22,106 I'll tell you what, we'll let you all 333 00:11:22,107 --> 00:11:23,842 move in here, except for Hetty. 334 00:11:23,910 --> 00:11:26,782 Hey, man, Hetty is our friend, 335 00:11:26,783 --> 00:11:28,949 and we're not gonna abandon her like that. 336 00:11:28,950 --> 00:11:31,282 Indeed. We are one and we have spoken. 337 00:11:31,384 --> 00:11:35,353 Well, if that's your choice, then, I respect it... 338 00:11:36,022 --> 00:11:37,454 ...but none of you can move in. 339 00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:40,457 Enjoy huddling together outside in the dead of winter. 340 00:11:40,458 --> 00:11:43,863 -Yeah, okay, we'll take the deal. -Sorry, Hetty. 341 00:11:43,864 --> 00:11:45,735 -Can I get a top bunk? -Ugh! 342 00:11:45,736 --> 00:11:47,938 Apparently, they can't tear down the mansion 343 00:11:47,939 --> 00:11:50,202 if someone historically significant died here. 344 00:11:50,203 --> 00:11:52,572 I might be historically significant. 345 00:11:52,674 --> 00:11:54,612 I ate an orange once. 346 00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:57,976 Yeah, I'm not sure that's gonna move the needle. 347 00:11:57,977 --> 00:11:59,616 You should tell them your secret. 348 00:11:59,617 --> 00:12:01,079 Oh, shut it, you sack of turds. 349 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,050 I don't want anyone to know about that. 350 00:12:03,051 --> 00:12:06,351 -Not even if it saves Woodstone? -(exhales) 351 00:12:07,254 --> 00:12:09,955 Okay, so, you're saying a Viking died here. 352 00:12:10,024 --> 00:12:11,793 -That's right. -Which would be 353 00:12:11,862 --> 00:12:14,131 extremely historically significant. 354 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,667 Is nice to hear. 355 00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:18,361 And you actually had remains that could prove it, 356 00:12:18,430 --> 00:12:20,870 but for some reason, you pushed those remains 357 00:12:20,939 --> 00:12:23,440 out into the middle of a lake and set them on fire? 358 00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:25,643 It was sort of a Viking funeral. 359 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:29,379 Uh, perhaps the first one in Ulster County. 360 00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:31,115 Huh? Is that something? 361 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,814 It is something, 362 00:12:32,815 --> 00:12:34,145 just not something that can help you here. 363 00:12:34,146 --> 00:12:35,387 ALBERTA: Oh, this isn't good. 364 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,754 We're running out of ghosts. 365 00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:38,784 Anyway, I should probably be going. 366 00:12:38,886 --> 00:12:40,206 Hey, guys. What's going on? 367 00:12:40,207 --> 00:12:42,121 Uh, w-what about Pete Martino, who died here? 368 00:12:42,122 --> 00:12:44,354 He-he was a famous local cuckold. 369 00:12:44,423 --> 00:12:46,727 Okay, not my favorite way to walk into a room. 370 00:12:46,796 --> 00:12:48,360 I'm not sure I know who that is, 371 00:12:48,361 --> 00:12:51,429 and if being a cuckold were enough to get landmark status, 372 00:12:51,430 --> 00:12:53,537 my home would have had a plaque years ago. 373 00:12:53,538 --> 00:12:54,738 Feels like there's a story there. 374 00:12:54,739 --> 00:12:56,574 It was wonderful meeting you two. 375 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,405 I'm sorry this didn't go your way. 376 00:12:58,474 --> 00:13:00,174 (sighs) 377 00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:02,510 What are we gonna do? 378 00:13:02,579 --> 00:13:04,376 We are so screwed. 379 00:13:04,445 --> 00:13:08,285 I heard you're looking for someone who's dead and famous. 380 00:13:08,387 --> 00:13:10,950 Well, look no further. 381 00:13:11,052 --> 00:13:12,862 Nancy, what are you talking about? 382 00:13:12,887 --> 00:13:14,186 I've got a story to tell. 383 00:13:14,187 --> 00:13:16,560 It's something I never wanted anyone to know, 384 00:13:16,561 --> 00:13:18,595 but if it'll save Woodstone, 385 00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:20,758 I guess now's the time to tell you. 386 00:13:20,860 --> 00:13:22,628 The thing is... 387 00:13:22,730 --> 00:13:25,936 I'm a princess. 388 00:13:29,196 --> 00:13:33,676 Jay, Nancy just told everyone that she's a princess. 389 00:13:33,677 --> 00:13:35,876 -Okay. -ALBERTA: Yeah, 390 00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:37,575 we're gonna need you to say more. 391 00:13:37,615 --> 00:13:40,117 Nancy's not my real name. 392 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:41,270 I was born... 393 00:13:41,347 --> 00:13:46,317 Princess Adeline Marie Dunham of Bedford. 394 00:13:46,385 --> 00:13:49,388 We lived in a castle. I had servants. 395 00:13:49,423 --> 00:13:52,422 I crapped in a golden bowl. The whole nine. 396 00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:55,662 Mother, why must I sit for this portrait? 397 00:13:55,764 --> 00:13:57,494 It is most tiresome. 398 00:13:57,596 --> 00:14:01,399 We intend to send it to the Prince of Liechtenstein. 399 00:14:01,468 --> 00:14:04,806 Hopefully, it will make a favorable impression, 400 00:14:04,908 --> 00:14:06,775 and he will take you for his wife. 401 00:14:06,877 --> 00:14:09,445 Mm, but I don't wish to marry him. 402 00:14:09,547 --> 00:14:11,108 I hear he smells bad. 403 00:14:11,210 --> 00:14:13,279 I mean, we all smell pretty bad, 404 00:14:13,348 --> 00:14:15,758 so if you're hearing about how someone smells, 405 00:14:15,818 --> 00:14:17,750 that can't be pleasant. 406 00:14:17,819 --> 00:14:19,087 Don't be ridiculous. 407 00:14:19,156 --> 00:14:21,921 It will be a comfortable life of teas and balls 408 00:14:22,023 --> 00:14:23,824 with others of the noble class. 409 00:14:23,927 --> 00:14:26,059 It is the life you were born for. 410 00:14:26,128 --> 00:14:28,829 Oh, but those things don't interest me. 411 00:14:28,897 --> 00:14:31,502 I wish to cavort by creeks, 412 00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:33,300 run in fields, speak plainly 413 00:14:33,402 --> 00:14:38,236 and, if I'm being honest, lay with many different people. 414 00:14:38,305 --> 00:14:43,281 You're describing the life of a commoner. 415 00:14:43,349 --> 00:14:44,509 So, I ran away. 416 00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:47,250 On a royal trip to Canada, I slipped away in the night, 417 00:14:47,251 --> 00:14:51,414 ditched my fancy duds and reinvented myself as Nancy. 418 00:14:51,483 --> 00:14:53,413 You're the lost princess of Bedford? 419 00:14:53,454 --> 00:14:55,955 I-I read about that in school. That was a big deal. 420 00:14:55,956 --> 00:14:57,421 JAY: Okay, now, that sounds 421 00:14:57,422 --> 00:14:59,562 -plaque-worthy. -THORFINN: Nancy, 422 00:14:59,631 --> 00:15:01,157 why you never tell anyone? 423 00:15:01,226 --> 00:15:02,797 'Cause I'm embarrassed. 424 00:15:02,865 --> 00:15:04,460 It was a dumbass thing to do. 425 00:15:04,496 --> 00:15:06,737 What did I think was so terrible, huh? 426 00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:10,103 Eating bonbons all day? Frickin' idiot. 427 00:15:10,172 --> 00:15:14,009 This whole time, Nancy was... fancy. 428 00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:16,007 The problem is, Joe is gonna want proof. 429 00:15:16,008 --> 00:15:18,114 What about this? 430 00:15:18,881 --> 00:15:20,411 It's got my initials on it. 431 00:15:20,514 --> 00:15:23,219 Nancy has a locket with her real initials on it. 432 00:15:23,220 --> 00:15:26,157 Okay, but how does that help us? We need the real necklace. 433 00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:28,519 Well, hell, I don't know. My cholera-ravaged corpse 434 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,724 has got to be around here somewhere. 435 00:15:30,793 --> 00:15:32,728 Go rooting around. 436 00:15:32,729 --> 00:15:34,158 So, we have to dig up your body? 437 00:15:34,159 --> 00:15:35,599 JAY: Okay, I'll go 438 00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,295 put on my grave-digging gloves. 439 00:15:37,364 --> 00:15:40,604 No need. Thor has seen necklace before, 440 00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:44,074 and Thor know where to find it. 441 00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:46,676 You people have some nerve. 442 00:15:46,677 --> 00:15:48,045 What are you talking about? 443 00:15:48,046 --> 00:15:50,207 No, seriously, I do need to get caught up. 444 00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:51,817 TREVOR: Hetty, let's be adults 445 00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:54,015 about this. I get that you're upset. 446 00:15:54,016 --> 00:15:55,620 Did someone eat your alfalfa sandwich 447 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:56,788 from the commune fridge, 448 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,315 even though you clearly marked it? 449 00:15:58,316 --> 00:15:59,924 I hate when that happens. 450 00:15:59,925 --> 00:16:01,991 How could you all so quickly accept that offer? 451 00:16:01,992 --> 00:16:03,595 We were simply cutting to the chase. 452 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:04,992 How exactly do you figure? 453 00:16:04,993 --> 00:16:06,158 Inevitably, you would have told us 454 00:16:06,159 --> 00:16:07,479 to carry forth without you. 455 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,296 We would've objected, you would have insisted. 456 00:16:09,297 --> 00:16:10,836 TREVOR: Back and forth it would go, 457 00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:12,767 until finally, we gave in to your wish. 458 00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:14,501 (whispers): You're welcome. 459 00:16:15,137 --> 00:16:17,038 This has been a most difficult day. 460 00:16:17,039 --> 00:16:18,671 The thing I spent my life building- 461 00:16:18,672 --> 00:16:23,012 my house, my life's work- could very well be demolished. 462 00:16:23,114 --> 00:16:25,442 And it shall be as though I never existed. 463 00:16:25,544 --> 00:16:28,951 And it is in this darkest of hours, 464 00:16:29,053 --> 00:16:33,255 that my "friends" choose to forsake me. 465 00:16:36,422 --> 00:16:38,696 Are you two happy with yourselves? 466 00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:41,659 I hope that sandwich was worth it. 467 00:16:44,635 --> 00:16:46,833 Necklace in there. 468 00:16:46,935 --> 00:16:48,369 How do you know that? 469 00:16:48,438 --> 00:16:51,568 Many years ago, Thor watch Hetty's father take necklace 470 00:16:51,603 --> 00:16:54,373 off Nancy's dead body, then gift to Hetty. 471 00:16:54,442 --> 00:16:56,976 -Lovely. -He claim he had it made for her 472 00:16:57,078 --> 00:16:58,781 by fine European jeweler. 473 00:16:58,816 --> 00:17:00,576 Hetty keep necklace in there. 474 00:17:00,612 --> 00:17:02,581 Oh, my God, Jay, I think this is it. 475 00:17:02,683 --> 00:17:06,316 Yeah, there it is. The one thing I kept from my old life. 476 00:17:06,384 --> 00:17:09,255 A.D., for "Adeline Dunham," 477 00:17:09,324 --> 00:17:11,622 which is Nancy's real princess name! 478 00:17:11,691 --> 00:17:14,724 Wow, crazy stuff happening in ghost world today. 479 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:17,296 But how did Hetty's dad explain those initials? 480 00:17:17,299 --> 00:17:19,637 He say it stand for "adorable daughter." 481 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:21,205 Quick thinking, Thor thought. 482 00:17:21,233 --> 00:17:24,504 He awful, but wise. 483 00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:26,805 (clears throat) 484 00:17:26,874 --> 00:17:28,407 Hey, guys. 485 00:17:28,476 --> 00:17:30,910 I think a groundhog went through my stomach. 486 00:17:30,979 --> 00:17:32,846 Oh, I hate the dirt. 487 00:17:32,948 --> 00:17:34,346 What do you guys want? 488 00:17:34,347 --> 00:17:35,852 We want to talk to you about the whole 489 00:17:35,853 --> 00:17:37,082 "leaving Hetty out" thing. 490 00:17:37,083 --> 00:17:38,386 I-It's not cool. 491 00:17:38,488 --> 00:17:41,138 FLOWER: Yeah, cults aren't about excluding people. 492 00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:43,061 They're about bringing people in, 493 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:45,731 gradually poisoning all of their outside relationships 494 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,166 and then not letting them leave. 495 00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,066 And while we appreciate you agreeing to shelter us, 496 00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:51,832 we could not abandon our friend to do so. 497 00:17:51,901 --> 00:17:53,563 Okay. Sounds good. 498 00:17:53,564 --> 00:17:55,201 -Yeah, good luck with everything. -Yeah. 499 00:17:55,202 --> 00:17:56,939 Oh, come on, bunker buddies. 500 00:17:57,008 --> 00:17:58,940 Why can't you just take Hetty in? 501 00:17:59,009 --> 00:18:01,409 She hates us and she's so mean. 502 00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:03,846 -Yeah. -Very astute. 503 00:18:03,881 --> 00:18:05,609 -She... -How about this? 504 00:18:05,677 --> 00:18:08,314 We agree to take you in, Hetty included, 505 00:18:08,383 --> 00:18:10,419 but we want our TV privileges back. 506 00:18:10,487 --> 00:18:13,858 Even in the event that Woodstone is spared from demolition. 507 00:18:13,859 --> 00:18:15,191 But if Woodstone were to be spared, 508 00:18:15,192 --> 00:18:16,723 we wouldn't need your help any longer. 509 00:18:16,724 --> 00:18:19,264 That's their point, Isaac. They're exercising leverage. 510 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:22,033 It's something I understand well from my trading days. 511 00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:23,896 You guys know who Jordan Belfort was? 512 00:18:23,897 --> 00:18:25,001 No. 513 00:18:25,069 --> 00:18:26,900 Well, I was at his bachelor party. 514 00:18:27,002 --> 00:18:28,601 So, do we have a deal? 515 00:18:30,559 --> 00:18:32,637 Fine. 516 00:18:32,638 --> 00:18:34,745 And thank you. We shall be on our way. 517 00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:36,474 A-Actually, we'll come with you. 518 00:18:36,475 --> 00:18:38,617 There's a six-part Doug Henning documentary 519 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,076 I wanted to jump into. 520 00:18:40,145 --> 00:18:41,513 (sighs) 521 00:18:41,582 --> 00:18:44,018 No groundhogs, no groundhogs, no groundhogs... 522 00:18:44,019 --> 00:18:45,416 (shouts) Right in my mouth! 523 00:18:45,417 --> 00:18:48,126 Damn these dirt squirrels. 524 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:54,429 Oh, thank you again for stepping up in the end. 525 00:18:54,430 --> 00:18:56,330 -Mm. -I truly appreciate your friendship. 526 00:18:56,331 --> 00:18:58,268 -Oh, we could not abandon you. -Hmm. 527 00:18:58,269 --> 00:19:00,672 Can you two keep it down? I can't hear Doug talk about 528 00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,139 the wonder of magic. 529 00:19:02,140 --> 00:19:04,372 But next time, don't ever make a deal without me. 530 00:19:04,373 --> 00:19:06,439 -You all got hosed. -Yeah, that's fair. 531 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,607 -(shushes) -FLOWER: Maybe sleeping outside 532 00:19:08,608 --> 00:19:10,342 wouldn't have been so bad. (chuckles) 533 00:19:10,343 --> 00:19:11,946 Although nature can be scary. 534 00:19:12,048 --> 00:19:13,751 I was once eaten by a bear. 535 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,514 Hmm. That was tough to watch. 536 00:19:15,617 --> 00:19:18,783 The cubs were cute, though, when they joined in. 537 00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:24,422 (snorts) 538 00:19:24,423 --> 00:19:26,461 Well, this is exquisite. 539 00:19:26,462 --> 00:19:29,059 Late Regency. The period certainly seems to be correct. 540 00:19:29,060 --> 00:19:32,167 And those are clearly the lost princess's initials, right? 541 00:19:32,168 --> 00:19:33,931 True, but unfortunately, this necklace 542 00:19:33,932 --> 00:19:36,271 could have belonged to anybody with these initials. 543 00:19:36,272 --> 00:19:37,603 JAY: Uh- Joe, buddy, this is close. 544 00:19:37,604 --> 00:19:39,977 Tie goes to the runner. Plaque us up. 545 00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:42,211 I'm just saying, it's not conclusive. 546 00:19:42,313 --> 00:19:44,948 Unlike the texts I found on my wife's phone. 547 00:19:44,949 --> 00:19:46,215 We didn't have texting in my day. 548 00:19:46,216 --> 00:19:47,613 Otherwise, I would have figured out 549 00:19:47,614 --> 00:19:49,683 the whole Carol/Jerry thing a lot sooner. 550 00:19:49,684 --> 00:19:52,451 They go away for two-week trip to Bermuda, Pete. 551 00:19:52,452 --> 00:19:54,353 Tell you it was for "bowling league." 552 00:19:54,354 --> 00:19:56,393 Okay, there were signs. 553 00:19:56,461 --> 00:19:59,661 Let me know if you're able to find more concrete evidence. 554 00:19:59,730 --> 00:20:01,098 Thank you. 555 00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:04,427 Okay, we need to tie this necklace to Nancy. 556 00:20:04,562 --> 00:20:06,168 Well, this is a long shot, 557 00:20:06,237 --> 00:20:08,806 but there's a painting of me wearing it. 558 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,672 What? Really? W-Where is it? 559 00:20:10,673 --> 00:20:11,802 Oh, beats me. 560 00:20:11,803 --> 00:20:13,306 Mother was gonna send it to that prince 561 00:20:13,307 --> 00:20:14,572 so he could perv out on it, 562 00:20:14,674 --> 00:20:16,839 but then I left, so my best guess is that 563 00:20:16,908 --> 00:20:19,545 it's still in my family's castle collecting dust. 564 00:20:19,614 --> 00:20:22,682 I mean, maybe, but it could be anywhere by now. 565 00:20:22,683 --> 00:20:25,182 Nancy says there is a portrait of her wearing the necklace, 566 00:20:25,183 --> 00:20:28,818 but it might be in her family's castle, or anywhere, really. 567 00:20:28,819 --> 00:20:30,758 So, we have less than 72 hours to track down 568 00:20:30,759 --> 00:20:33,627 a 200-year-old painting which may or may not still exist, 569 00:20:33,628 --> 00:20:35,759 and if we don't, an evil water conglomerate's 570 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,895 gonna destroy our home and business? 571 00:20:37,896 --> 00:20:40,434 You know, Sam gets most of the credit for summarizing, 572 00:20:40,435 --> 00:20:42,471 -but he's not bad, either. -Mm-hmm. 573 00:20:47,177 --> 00:20:50,173 Captioning sponsored by CBS 574 00:20:50,276 --> 00:20:52,812 and TOYOTA. 575 00:20:52,848 --> 00:21:04,023 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 576 00:21:04,073 --> 00:21:08,623 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0